this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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