I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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