I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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