Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
