just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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