my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize