i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Your cock deserves a montage
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
