$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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