Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
