U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize