I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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