I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm passing your future prison.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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