You work out of a Hotel?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
