I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize