it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dick very happy bro
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize