is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
