Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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