what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
