My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize