Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
