I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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