My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
