Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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