I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
