It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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