what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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