There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
