i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
