i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
