the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
