Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
