You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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