like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
