so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
