So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize