Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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