Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
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While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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