that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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