....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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