everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
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