i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
