ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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