If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
