he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
