Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
