I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
