He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
