youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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