You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
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