I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
