But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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