i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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