I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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