I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
