You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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