Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
