Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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