Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
