And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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