Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
