Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
