remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
