im six kinds of drunk right now
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
