you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
