we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
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There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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