My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
