We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
