Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
