The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
