he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
