We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Randomize
