it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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