I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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