Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize