Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Randomize